For All of Us
by LadyNor19
Summary: Commander Shepard's death left a great impact of those in her life and those she left behind. As her lover and family struggle to move on, Shepard awakes several years later and tries to pick the pieces, all whilst continuing her fight against the Reaper
1. Chapter 1

Okay, so this is my first fanfic, it takes place after ME 1 and goes onto ME 2. The timeline has definitely been altered and so has the story. This chapter begins two weeks after Saren's defeat/Ilos and carries on more as foundation for what the story will be about. Please review and I hope you enjoy!

Marie Shepard sighed, "I'm not sure how I feel about sitting on the sidelines for 9 months." Her mother cut in "12 months at the least." Shepard even more wary now and hung her head, Kaidan took this opportunity to reassure her, "There's still a lot that you can do behind the scenes. Gathering Intel is major part of our operation, and I'm sure you could persuade even the Shadow Broker if needed to. It's just safer this way, " Kaidan stopped briefly to look Shepard in the eyes, "For all of us."

Shepard placed her hand on her stomach, knowing that life was growing within her, Kaidan was right, she would have to make do with desk work. Hannah Shepard took this time to speak up "So what is the official story going to be Marie? Your one week of mandatory shore leave got out of hand while celebrating Saren's defeat?" Marie rolled her eyes, "You always have a way with words mother." Her father cut in, "They'll separate the two of you otherwise, and neither of you want off this operation. When this is all over you can work it out, maybe then one of you can leave the Alliance and not have to worry about fraternization."

Marie turned to her father, "You and mom managed." She said pointedly. "Note that I'm never on assignment off station, somewhat like a permanent grounding." He responded. "So what, I'm just some hero who can't keep her legs together and bed hops the first man I can find?" "Apparently." Hannah responded dryly. Shepard was about to read her mother the riot act when her father spoke again.

"Alcohol impairs your judgment and decision making, find someone in the Alliance, hell, even council space to argue otherwise. The father has wished to remain anonymous. You are staying on the operation as Alliance intelligence contact. There really isn't anything else you should have to disclose to the Alliance, or the Council. You just saved all their asses, they owe you that much." Marie took in all her father said and then turned to Kaidan. He gave her a half smile, that indicated her father was correct in all he had said.

Hannah cut in again, "Name Kaidan the godfather of your child, as your "good" friend and comrade." The emphasis place on "good" was not lost on either Shepherd or Kaidan. Tim Shepard walked over to his daughter and took her face in his hands, "Marie, we will be here all the way, don't worry." He kissed her on the forehead and left the room. Hannah nodded toward her daughter and followed her husband out.

Kaidan sat down beside Shepard and wrapped his arm around her shoulder bringing her head to lean against his chest. "It will work out, right?" she looked up at him. "Yeah, it will." He assured and held her closer to him. "It's just a shame the father wants to be anonymous" he said, Shepard chuckled, "Yeah, what an asshole." She smiled then leaned up and kissed him.

* * *

Hannah Shepard cradled her three month old granddaughter, smiling warmly at the child who already favored her father in looks; dark wisps of hair and tanned skin, not the pale and blonde beauty her mother had. But when she opened her eyes, those deep blue orbs where all Marie's.

They had named her Kira, Marie pointing to how she had loved name ever since she heard it, so long not remembering where, but never forgetting the name. Her 'godfather' had just gotten in last month, finally able to see and hold this darling girl, and now they were both leaving.

The Alliance had handle Shepard's pregnancy quite well, the fact that she told them she was not abandoning the operation and would return to the field as cleared by the doctors no doubt helped. The Council was a bit pricklier, but Anderson smoothed things over nicely, especially seeing how his fellow Turian councilor had an Asari love-child he visited on Illium every month.

Kaidan and Shepard's relationship was not discovered, just like the "anonymous father" of Kira. Kaidan had taken over as head on the Normandy in Shepard's absence, so his communications with Shepard weren't odd, nor were his two visits to collect physical intelligence, evidence that had to given to him directly. And his visit now was to welcome his commanding officer back into service. He had been diligently watching Kira since he arrived a month ago and was now sitting across from Hannah waiting on Shepard to ship out.

Hannah stood and placed Kira gently into Kaidan's arms, the infant cooed happily at the sight of this oddly familiar stranger who had visited her this past month. Hannah smiled and left the sitting to find her daughter.

Marie had finished packing her Alliance issued bag and was now fastening the side of her Onyx armor. "Ahem", she looked to see her mother in the doorway. "What's up?" she asked. Hannah sighed and the spoke, she had been thinking on every word of this conversation for some time now, "Your sure about this? Just leaving your daughter like this?" that came how more harsh then she had intended. Shepard looked up at her mother with impatience, "We talked about this already didn't we? You're worried I'm going run off and play 'Soldier Mom' and miss out on her growing up, right?" Hannah looked her daughter straight in the eyes, "I missed out a lot with you." Marie sighed and placed her hands on her mother's shoulders "I know we can be short with each other, but I love you Mom, and I know you had your reasons." Marie swallowed and the her tone became serious, "I've been out of commission for a year now, and by someone's grace the Reapers have held off hitting us. I'm doing this so that I don't have to worry that my daughter and everyone else I care about might suffer at their hands." And with that Marie hugged her mother and walked out of the room.

* * *

Tim Shepard looked painfully at the empty coffin before him. The Alliance flag draped across it looked faint and old despite that it was new. His wife held their granddaughter who was innocently unaware of the sad occasion taking place around her.

Across from him on the other side of the coffin was a somber man, who was staring so intently at display before him one would think he could see inside to the empty chamber. He looked up and locked eyes with Tim and then looked mournfully to the child resting in caring arms beside him. Tim knew then that Kaidan Alenko would no longer play the role of 'godfather', he would make every move to be in his infant daughter's life.

Tim turned his attention back to the coffin. Marie hadn't even been back on duty for more than month when the Normandy was shot down by an unknown vessel in the Terminus system. Her body was never recovered. And so before them was a hollow box, dressed to look like a proper coffin, and the memory of the woman whose loss was so great that none would fully recover.


	2. Chapter 2

Short chapter, next one will be longer. As I said in the last chapter, I'm playing with the timeline a little bit; so as opposed to two years passing, three years have, that gives Kira a bit of more comprehensive vocab. Once again I hope eveyone enjoys and please review!

* * *

"Imma be right back Papa!" the little girl said happily skipping down the hall. No doubt as her father he was hopelessly bias, but he was certain she was the most beautiful child in the galaxy. Kaidan chuckled outwardly at his fatherly thought; '_Every father must think that about his daughter.'_

"She seems happy…" Hannah said warily behind him, "but are you absolutely sure about this?" she asked. Kaidan turned to her "Is it so wrong for me to want to be with my daughter? I finally have a chance to live with Kira, and I'm tired of only the visits and chats over extranet that I've had for the past three years. You of all people should understand that Hannah." He stared intently at her; he wasn't going to change his mind about this.

About a month after Shepard died Kaidan revealed that he was the father of Kira. The Brass wasn't pleased to say the least, but there was not a lot they could do. Fraternization charges seemed pointless as a child was produced when the relationship was revealed, that, and the other offender was dead. Plus, Kaidan had already been named one of Kira's guardians. Those circumstances already in place, his service record spoke for itself, and the Alliance was in not about to let him go.

Kira had been living with her grandparents on the Shoal Station and Kaidan took every bit of shore leave he had to spend with her, that and anytime he could make connection with the station he was certain to speak with her. She was well aware of whom her father was despite the distance and despite that she had only just turned three years old.

Kaidan had been given a new position, most would consider it desk work, not worthy of a Staff Commander but it would be a stable six months on the Citadel working as an Alliance liaison to Councilor Anderson. There wasn't any constant ship outs and he was assured by Admiral Hackett that he would not leave the Widow system unless absolutely necessary. He was given his own apartment just outside the Presidium near the Alliance offices, and as he wasn't going off station for 6 months, he requested that his daughter live with him.

The Alliance cleared the request and Kaidan left for Shoal immediately. He had already talked to Tim about Kira's move, but Hannah was not as warm to it. She was last wall he'd have to get through to finally be with his daughter. So he continued to look at her, showing that there was no room for discussion.

She finally spoke, "You're right." sounding defeated without even a battle. Kaidan knew she was thinking of Marie and all the time she had missed with her. "It's not as if you won't hear from her Hannah, I promise you that." Kaidan gave her a half smile. Hannah looked up at him and nodded.

Just then a bouncy wave of black hair bolted toward him and he scooped her up in his arms, "Whoa, now what's going on little lady?" Kira smiled happily at him and proudly announced "I going to your house!" Kaidan smiled back, "You bet! Are you ready to get going?" Kira wrapped her little arms around his neck and nodded "Yep!"

* * *

He wasn't sure when she had fallen asleep; last he'd thought she was looking out the shuttle window. But now Kira had wrapped herself around his left arm and was sleeping in his lap, her head resting against his bicep. A faint glint caught his attention and he reached for the locket resting around her neck, he decided to open it.

The woman inside was beautiful; she had icy blue eyes, fair skin, and blonde hair that was hanging loose in the picture. Kaidan had seen her like that only twice: the night before Ilos and the morning before she was killed; the one night he'd never forget and the one day he wish he could. Every other time Marie had worn her hair up in high bun, he was sure it would give most people headaches, but it looked perfect on her.

Kaidan was pulled out of his thoughts when a small voice spoke, "That's Mama…" Kira stated, pointing to the locket still in his hand. She reached for it and held it in front of her, "Pop-pop says she was a he'woe…was she?" Kaidan brushed an errant hair behind her ear and smiled, "She was hero, and she even saved me one time." Kira gave him an odd look, "What's wrong sweetheart?"

"That's not how s'posed to be." She told him, "The prince s'posed to save the princess; you and Mama did it wrong." Kaidan chuckled and kissed her on the forehead as she snuggled back into his arms. He looked to the window into the dark starry space outside; '_She wouldn't let me save her…'_


	3. Chapter 3

A bit longer then the last chapter, Shepard will be appearing soon but I wanted to do a little bit with Kira first. I also want to thank everyone for the reviews and story/author alerts, I appreciate it. Please review and I hope you enjoy!

As a soldier you're trained to hear things in your sleep: faint whispers, soft breathing, light footsteps; everything associated with someone trying to approach you without awakening you. But Kaidan had little to worry about person walking to his bedside, who was unaware of how stealth-like their actions were coming across. But as he would act in a serious situation, he did now: observe and wait to strike.

Kira was certain her father hadn't heard her, he was still making those funny noises that her grandfather made when he slept. She stopped to ponder if all grown-ups made that sound when a sudden snort caused her to duck down at the front the bed. Biting her lower lip she slowly stood up to look over the covers and saw her father was now lying on his stomach. She took this opportunity to crawl onto the mattress.

Kaidan felt the mattress shift as small hands and knees made their way cautiously toward the pillows he was resting his head on. He opened his eye just barely to see Kira pick up one of the pillows beside him, _'A pillow fight, huh?' _He grinned to himself and decided to make his move.

Quicker than she could raise the pillow above her head a pair of arms reached out and grabbed her. Kira squealed happily as she found herself looking down from her father's arms to his laughing face. "I tried to sup'wise you!" she told him, Kaidan smiled and responded, "But I surprised you first." Kira wriggled out of his arms and crawled under the covers. Kaidan watched with amusement as she popped her head out at the opposite end of the bed and gave him a happy grin.

"So what's happening little lady?" he asked her as he leaned back against the headboard. "Umm, breakfast? Oh, and the park!" she looked toward him for confirmation, "Alright, sounds good. Go get dressed and we'll head out." Kira smiled from ear to ear and scrambled down the hall to get ready for her day with her father.

_

* * *

_

_'I guess it's a park'_ Kaidan thought as Kira skipped to the reflecting pool. He would remember growing up on Earth as a child when his parents took him and his siblings to the local park. _Remnants of the good past _his father would call it; but Kaidan just knew the park as a place people went to be happy, to be with family, to run around all day and collapse when you finally went home.

The Citadel wards did their best to add what they called _Enviro-Centers_, naturally the center closest to the Alliances offices was based off of Earth, but it looked out of place. If you walked too far you'd end up back in the wards; shops, restaurants, and advertisement posts quickly overtook whatever Earthly feel the center was trying to evoke.

But Kira was happy; there wasn't anything like this on Shoal Station. Kaidan's thoughts went to Tim and Hannah at memory of the station. It had been three months since Kira came to live him, and she talked to Tim over the extranet quite a bit, but Hannah picked up the first off-station posting she could and had only been able to make contact with Kira once since then. Even after he assured her that Kira would continue to be in contact with her, she just left.

But he wouldn't linger on it; it wasn't his fault she decided to isolate herself. And he had no regrets; being with Kira was what he wanted, and she had begun to heal that invisible wound that Shepard left.

It would be three years tomorrow; three years since Marie Shepard had died. Kaidan had loved her; not only did she break down that heavy wall of control he had carried since BAaT, she had also given him a daughter. A wonderful child that may look like him but embodied her mother's spirit.

Kira had been holding her father's hand as they walked through the Wards; she was thoroughly enjoying her day with her father. She was now staring at all the lights and signs when an advertisement post caught her attention. She stopped so suddenly that Kaidan nearly jerked her out of place. He noticed she was staring to the Alliance recruitment center across the ward and then he realized what she was focusing on. The advertisement post was displaying an image of Commander Marie Shepard, Hero of the Blitz, and Savior of the Citadel.

But Kira almost seemed not to recognize her; there was certainly something familiar about that woman but her hair was different, it was in a tight bun, it wasn't hanging around her face. And she was wearing black armor, with battle scars on it. But the most noticeable difference was the hard, determined look on her face with a stern line in place of the soft smile that the woman in Kira's locket had. It was a different woman.

Kaidan looked down at Kira to see if she had realized that the woman in the advertisement was the same woman in her locket but she simply turned to him and smiled, "I'm tired Papa, can we go home?" He did his best not to show the sadness he felt at the memories that came flooding back to him, he worked out a smile and picked her up, "Yeah little lady, let's call it day." Kira nodded to him and they headed home, all the way wondering about the woman she saw.

Kira had fallen asleep on the walk back to the apartment, Kaidan was relieved she hadn't asked any questions about the advertisement; but now he knew to avoid the offices on the way home from now on with her. He was going to also talk with the recruitment center, see if they have found a new poster soldier yet; and if not, he would help them find one.

Kaidan reached Kira's room and went to set her on her bed. She slightly protested when her arm's left his neck but quickly found a suitable replacement in her pillow. Kaidan slipped her shoes off and tucked her in. He reached to brush that stubborn strand of hair out of her face and she sighed contently in her sleep.

Kaidan was walking to his bedroom when his ommi-tool went off, signaling he had a message. It had Alliance clearance and was marked 'URGENT', he quickly opened the message to find a recording of Admiral Hackett addressing him, "Commander Alenko, you are required to meet with Councilor Anderson and myself tomorrow at 0900 sharp in the Alliance Ambassador office. It is of the utmost importance you attend, that's an order. Admiral Hackett out."

The message was unnerving to say the least, but Kaidan had an order that he had to follow. He turned to look back down the hallway, at the open door to Kira's room. Hopefully, the revelations at this meeting would not affect her.

* * *

"Thanks again Leigh, I know this is last minute but-" she interrupted him, "It's fine Commander, now go or you'll be late." Kaidan nodded and left the apartment. Leigh was Captain Leroy's wife, a decorated leader that reminded Kaidan of Anderson from time to time; they lived in the apartment across from him and Kira. Their children had grown up and left home some years ago, so Leigh was more than happy to watch Kira when Kaidan was working, it was daycare his military stipend could afford.

Kaidan stepped off the transit shuttle and headed to Embassies. He nodded to the Asari secretary who quickly sent notice of his arrival to the room up the stairs. When Kaidan entered the office he noticed that only Anderson and Hackett were present for this urgent meeting, _'Figures, Udina wouldn't be here_.' He stiffened his posture and saluted the Admiral.

"At ease Alenko, there isn't any room formalities right now." the Admiral said grimly. "I assume you'll fill me in quickly then?" Kaidan asked. "Come sit," Anderson spoke up and gestured to a group of chairs, "We have a lot to talk about." Kaidan became wary, quickly thinking of things he could've done that would cause such grim attitudes.

"Have I done something Councilor?" he asked, Anderson shook his head, "No, it's what we need you to do." Admiral Hackett, now facing Kaidan, spoke, "No doubt you've heard about the disappearing colonies, yes?" "I am aware yes, but there isn't much the Alliance can do. The colonies that have disappeared are on the fringes of Alliance space, that and there is nothing to recover to prepare for or prevent what is causing the disappearances." Kaidan turned to Anderson, "I also know the Council considers this a Human concern, as only human colonies have been hit, so they say, or rather, do not wish to get involved." he finished, waiting to hear what was next.

"We've received some information that may help us greatly." Anderson said, "There is a colony that has come up in quite a bit in chatter connected to Cerberus; it may be that they are responsible for what is happening." he continued on, "It seems probable that they could be behind the disappearances; their willingness to take any measure to "protect" humanity may be the root of all this." Kaidan took in this information, "Is the source of the information legitimate?" "We have no reason to believe otherwise."Hackett stated.

"So what's my role in this?" Kaidan asked warily. Hackett swallowed and then looked Kaidan dead on, "We're sending you to the colony of interest, Horizon, as a liaison for the Alliance, officially we'll call it an outreach program, but unofficially you'll be there to keep an eye out." "And when will this take place?" Hackett didn't deter his look, "You ship out at the end of the week," Kaidan's stomach dropped.

"That will give you enough time to relocate your daughter to Shoal Station. We've already contacted Tim Shepard to let him know you will arrive soon." Kaidan grimaced, he knew he wasn't supposed to argue with his superior officer, but he couldn't leave without asking, even though he knew the answer all too well.

"So I have no say in this? You get an alleged "legitimate" tip and decide to run with it? Y-You decide me to throw into it with nothing more then shady intel?" he kept his voice even, "I was assured that I would be on the Citadel for six months-" Hackett cut in, "Unless absolutely necessary. Of which this is. You are an Alliance Soldier, and you do what is commanded of you." He finished firmly.

_'And there's the answer' _Kaidan became formal, "Understood sir, I meant no disrespect sir." Hackett nodded, "Councilor Anderson has some more information for you." He stood up to leave the room, but not before turning to Kaidan again, "You'll do fine, Staff Commander." once again reminding Kaidan of his duty.

The doors hissed shut and Anderson spoke up, "It's not like you to question your duties, Alenko." "I wasn't questioning my orders; I'd just needed to be sure of this…for my own sake. I am an Alliance Soldier and I know what I must do. It's just-" Kaidan breathed deeply, he knew he could talk to Anderson freely, "I guess being with Kira, I mean actually being able to live with my daughter has made think twice about taking on assignments. But I know by doing this, I'm protecting her, you know?"

"You won't be able to contact her, this mission is too important to be compromised." Anderson told him. "I figured as much, but I can't do anything about that." Kaidan shook his head, "Hackett said you had something else to tell me?" Anderson's face fell, "It's just rumor, the scuttlebutt of some of the information we received, but some reports are talking about Shepard."

Kaidan wasn't sure what he meant, "Talking about Shepard? Wha-" Anderson answered him, "The reports give indications that she's alive, and possibly associated with Cerberus." Kaidan knew he was hearing Anderson wrong. "That's not possible, she's dead, and even in death she wouldn't be associated with Cerberus." Anderson nodded, "Like I said, it's just rumor."

Kaidan stood up, "I need to go, I need to start preparing to leave. Thank you for your time Councilor." he bowed his head and left, Anderson didn't bother to try and keep him any longer. Kaidan had to wrap his head around everything he had just been told, just been ordered to do; he needed to breath.

He walked to the transit shuttle in a trance, and leaned back against his seat. This would be the first time he would not be looking forward to see his daughter.


	4. Chapter 4

Sorry for the delay! I hit a little bit of a writer's block (that and the World Cup), but I'm back _intend_ to be more regular with my updates. Enjoy and please review!

* * *

Kaidan stared blankly at the ceiling in his bedroom. He couldn't sleep; he had too much on his mind. He had only told Kira that they were going to visit her grandparents, she seemed excited at the prospect and didn't fret over the monotonous attitude her father brought home with him from work. But his thoughts weren't as much about Kira as they were about her mother.

Anderson couldn't be serious, '_Shepard, alive? How could he even fathom the idea?' _Kaidan's thoughts had said this many times already as he lay awake.

But the idea was creeping further into Kaidan's mind, it was part the reason he couldn't sleep; every time he shut his eyes he could see Marie standing off in the darkness. He hadn't had that happen since Kira came to live with him, he had truly begun to move on, but now, everything was spiraling out of control and throwing him back into a place he had fought so hard and long to get out of.

Kaidan realized he wouldn't be able to sleep, or rather he did not wish to; but it was beyond his control when his thoughts lulled him into a dream…or more of a memory, either way, he would welcome the visions now and lament them in the morning.

_-3 years ago, SSV Normandy-_

The doors hissed as Kaidan walked into Shepard's quarters. She was sitting at the edge of her bed, she appeared to be lost in her thoughts.

"Commander?" Kaidan startled her; _Something's up, it's not like her to be caught off guard._

"Kaidan," she looked somewhat relieved that it was him who caught her distracted, "you've got something to report?"

"Yes ma'am; we're still not picking up much activity in this sector but we've received orders to remain in the system for at least another day or two. Alchera is the only planet solid and stable enough to possibly have a stronghold or base in this sector; so I thought maybe we could do a Mako-drop. Maybe by turning up nothing it would help convince the higher-ups to let us move on sooner." Kaidan told her.

Shepard nodded in response but still seemed distance. Kaidan glanced at the door out of instinct, but knew that no one would barge in. He approached her and sat down beside her.

"Something bothering you?" he asked.

"Am I that transparent?" she responded dryly.

"Not usually, no. So what's happening that has you so distracted? Everything is ok back at Shoal, right?" Kaidan inquired as to if "goddaughter" had anything to do with Marie's thoughts.

She shook her head and smiled, "No, it's not that, Kira is fine…well last I heard but my parents would let me know if it were otherwise." Marie turned to view to the floor again.

Kaidan reached out to brush cheek, causing her to look at him directly, "What's going on Marie?" She placed her hand over his and let a wry chuckle.

"It's nothing, just letting my mind wander…it's not like there is much else to do." She gave Kaidan a reassuring smile. "So did you want to check out Alchera?" Shepard asked.

Kaidan sighed laid back on the bed, resting his head on his hands and spoke, "There's nothing on Alchera; rocks, ice, maybe a few harmless species, but all in all it's nothing. I was just proposing something to end this cabin fever."

Shepard laid next to him and placed her chin in her hand, "I guess there's no harm in that." she shrugged.

"You could practice your _lift_." Kaidan said dryly, knowing his comment would evoke a response. He heard her scoff and his view of the ceiling was replaced with Shepard looking down at him.

"There is nothing wrong with my _lift_." Marie said confidently. Kaidan chuckled, "If the crates in storage could talk they'd say otherwise."

She opened her mouth to retort but Kaidan spoke first, "I'm hungry. Ya' figure we should eat before we head out?" he said walking toward the doors.

Shepard smiled and shook her head, _You win this round._ "Sure Lieutenant, just let me put my hair up."

_-Present Day, Kaidan's apartment-_

An alarm was going off, _The ship alarm?_ Kaidan thought, but it wasn't the Normandy, it was his alarm clock. He sighed and reached to turn it off. The noise was amplified and the synthetic light creeping through curtains almost seemed blinding; he had awoken with a migraine.

Kaidan quickly reached for the painkillers he kept in the nightstand and took one. He leaned back against his pillows and placed his forearm over his eyes. _I don't have to leave for Shoal until tomorrow, I'll just Kira that today is a pajama day, _he thought to himself.

_Pajama Day_ was code for 'Papa's not feeling well, so let's lay in bed all day'. Oddly enough, Kira seemed to enjoy those days. Most children look for an energy outlet when stuck at home all day, but Kira was content snuggle with her father as he slept and she watched her favorite vids on the extranet. She often told Kaidan that Ms. Leroy only has "boring" vids.

"Papa" a small voice came from next to the nightstand. "Does your head hurt?" _She must've noticed the pill bottle was out._ He removed his arm from his face to look at her.

Her blues eyes were brimming with an unconditional concern, "Yeah, we're just stick home today little lady." He told her.

"Okay." She nodded and crawled into bed next to him. "Don't you want to watch your movies?" he asked, noticing she did not mention it.

"No Papa, I'm sleepy still." She responded and wrapped her little arms around his left arm, snuggling against him.

Kaidan smiled at his daughter; he knew this would be last time they would do this for some time starting tomorrow.

Next morning came; the shuttle ride to the transit station was uneventful, but now, sitting on the transport ship to Shoal Station, Kaidan had to tell his daughter of why they were really going to her grandparents.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and looked down at Kira. She was presently enamored with the view outside the window, _Talking with a three year old shouldn't be so hard,_ Kaidan thought to himself. He sighed heavily and began to speak:

"Hey little lady, I need to talk to you." She whipped her head around and looked up at him, a bright smile played on her face, "Okay Papa."

"I got an order the other day; I have to go on a mission. Do you remember how we talked about that when you came to live with me?" Kaidan watched her face for a reaction.

Kira nodded slowly, she remembered the talk her father had with her, "You have to go away." It was a statement; she understood perfectly what was happening.

Kaidan smiled sadly at her, "I'm sorry sweetheart." He leaned down to hug her.

Kira welcomed the hug and looked to her father. She smiled and spoke, "Miss Leroy said that when you go missions, you go help people."

Kaidan knew that wasn't always the case, it was more to defend and to protect, _Only then do you help people; never jeopardize the mission._ But Kaidan reminded himself that Kira didn't need to know that.

"If you go help people, then its okay Papa, b'cause that makes you good." She said before turning her attention to the window again.

Kaidan couldn't think of anything to say; Kira hadn't broken out into tears, she hadn't thrown a tantrum; she just accepted and even rationalized what he told her. He thought again, _Talking to a three year old shouldn't be so hard._

_-/-_

Kaidan was kneeling in the front room of the Shepard's apartment, looking into his daughter's eyes. "Alright now little lady, I have to go now. I want you to promise me you'll be good."

Kira smiled, "I will Papa," she hugged him. Kaidan returned the hug and picked her up. He sighed and kissed her forehead, "I love you Kira, and you know that, right?" she nodded.

"I love you too Papa." she responded.

Kaidan set her down and kissed her forehead one last time before she smiled and ran off down the hallway to her room.

Once Kaidan was sure Kira was out listening distance he activated his omni-tool and turned to Tim, "This is several recordings of myself." he said.

"What are they for?" Tim asked as he received the recordings on his omni-tool.

"I'm not allowed to have any outside contact; I report to the brass and they contact me, that's it." Kaidan told him. "So I made these recordings. It's just me saying hello and telling Kira that I miss her but um" he sighed, "I couldn't just leave and try to explain to her that I can't even send her messages, you know?"

Tim nodded, "I understand." Kaidan reached to shake his hand, "Thanks again Tim."

Tim let out a wry chuckle, "I wouldn't be doing my job as her grandfather otherwise." He took Kaidan's hand with a reassuring gesture.

Kaidan headed to leave when Tim spoke up, "Kaidan?"

He turned to face Tim as he began to talk, "I'm retired, but I still hear things…and right now I'm hearing things about my daughter. You care to shed any light on that?" he asked.

Kaidan moved to leave again but not before giving Tim his answer, "She's gone Tim."

And with that statement, he left.

_-A month later-_

Kaidan wasn't the kind of soldier to pull rank or brag about his exploits, but he had begun to contemplate whether or not it would be beneficial to his sanity if he told the colonists, whom he had been living beside these past weeks, that not only was he part of the team the saved Eden Prime, but he was involved in liberating the Feros colony from a mind-controlling ancient plant, and of course there was Terra Nova, but somehow he felt that even that would be held in contempt. _Something along the lines of "So now Colonists can fend for themselves? Is that it?" _Kaidan imagined what would be said.

"So Alliance boy, let me get this straight: the towers you came to set up are installed…but they're not functional?" a colonist pointed out snidely.

Kaidan was getting a migraine and it wasn't related to his implant, "As I have said before, the colony wasn't designed with GARDIAN turrets in mind. It will take some time for them to be functional, another week at the most, but once they're in sync with the new grids it shouldn't take long for them to be fully operational." He explained.

Delan snorted, "So even if they're functional we can't use them?"

Kaidan began to retort when another colonist cut in, "Like the commander said, they have to be in sync with the new power grids. Or we could just use the current grid if you'd like Delan. All we have to do is reroute the colony's power, but that would put a dent in any other operations on the colony." she said.

"All right Lilith, I get it. Still think this is a waste of…" Delan grumbled out of Kaidan's office/living unit.

"Thank you Lilith." Kaidan said as leaned back in his chair and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Are you getting a migraine Commander?" she asked, he could just pick the genuine concern in her voice.

Lilith was one of the few colonists who was welcoming and friendly to Kaidan on Horizon. It was probably why she was selected as one of the lead techs to assist him in setting up the GARDIAN towers. She was helpful, patient, and good listener; anything he said she seemed to take under great consideration.

Kaidan had begun suspect she was attracted to him; it was something he was ashamed to say he exploited. He enjoyed her company but while he didn't return the attraction he knew if he ever needed someone to just simply talk or vent too, she would happily be there; she had become a friend. Perhaps that was another reason Delan disliked him.

Delan on the other hand was one of a larger group of colonist whom had open contempt for the Alliance and anyone associated with them. Kaidan had been tempted to let his control slip away quite a few times with Delan, as Delan seemed to be constantly provoking him. Kaidan was forced to play nice as Delan was the head tech on the colony, anything Kaidan did; Delan was there to "help" him.

"Commander?" Lilith called him out of his thoughts; he looked to see her now sitting across from him.

He chuckled and looked at her, "I'm fine; the cause my headache wasn't my implant, so it will end much quicker."

She smiled, "I'm sorry Delan is like that to you. I'm also sorry that he's gotten some of the other techs to treat you like that too." her smile faded.

"It's not your fault," he told her, "besides, I've dealt with much worse."

A small beep came from the clock on his bed stand. It was 2 o'clock in the afternoon on Horizon but that beep meant it was 8 o'clock at night on Shoal Station. It was purely sentimental, but it was reminder of when Kira was going to bed. He wasn't able to contact her because of the mission; so this little reminder was his way of at least knowing something about what she was doing.

It was a small comfort; but one that he needed.

-_Cerberus Station_-

"Shepard! You've got to get up! Shepard!" a voice was calling out to her.

Everything was loud and bright; sirens blaring all around her, an explosion shook her. She moved to sit and pain racked her body.

"Shepard, your scars aren't healed but you got to move!" the voice called to her again.

Her surroundings came into focus; _It's some kind of med-bay, a facility,_ another explosion shook her.

"Shepard, there's a pistol and armor in the locker!" the voice was becoming impatient.

Where Marie Shepard was she didn't know, but it was under attack and the voice was telling her how to escape; she had to listen to survive.


End file.
